Mindful Monday: Screen Addiction Confession

I am coming to the realization that I am addicted to screens. My phone and laptop are like silent sirens, constantly calling to my subconscious, reminding me that they are oh-so-available, and without even thinking about it I am drawn back again and again.

It's been hovering in the back of my mind to write this for a while, except the weakness is so strong (oxymoron much?) that I haven't even been sure if I want to change. I know that I want to - want to.

A couple days ago I sat down on the floor by our sliding glass door to eat my lunch and realized with horror that I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten by myself without a screen in front of my face.

Ben and I eat sit down meals together (which, btw, would be one of my top pieces of marriage advice), but when he's away or eating lunch at work, my go-to is a seat on the couch with the laptop. A sandwich in one hand, typing or browsing with the other. The baby is usually playing on his mat or tucked beside me with some toys.

But I wish I could say this was only at lunch. 

For the very few things I actually have to check online (email, weather, Facebook, Pinterest), I spend a surprising amount of time checking them. I even find myself staring at the empty browser wondering what else I can come up with to look at. Over and over throughout the day, I put myself to some task or pursuit, but before I know it, there I am back at the computer again. Even my Lenten resolution to make a difference in this area wasted away to the bare minimum of its initial form.

Why is it so addictive? I suppose because it is just so effortless. Most other activities take at least a bit of brain power or elbow grease, whether designing a piece of art, washing dishes, or even singing! Looking at a screen is the easiest, laziest, most passive pastime. So much so that it becomes a default, a resting spot in between anything that requires more exertion. 

The addiction is also fuelled by conditioning to constant entertainment. I grab my phone to "have something to do" while eating my cereal or nursing the baby, and forget to simply immerse myself in eating my cereal, and nursing the baby!

In my heart, I don't do it :) I'm not "that type of person", haha. I've always been one to sing the praises of real life, and to remonstrate with my brothers for their hours of gaming. Yet here I am. 

It's time to be honest with myself. This addiction looks so innocent, yet it steals from everything: productivity, the cleanliness and order of our home, my relationships with Ben and Perrin, prayer, exercise... It even eats away at my peace of mind, for after spending a while online I feel discouraged and guilty.

I don't think I'm a hopeless case, or that I should stop using the devices. Nor am I alone. This whole generation has its task cut out to find balance in such an abundant availability of digital reality. What I do need to do is start being really mindful about my screen use. Pare down to only the useful, not the wasteful. Make a conscious decision to put it down, away, out of my mind, to take a deep breath, and to open myself fully to the world around me. Hopefully putting this out there in written words will help my resolve :)

So here's to embracing life! There is so much wonderful life to be lived. The air is fresh and chilly, full of health and the promise of spring, if only we take the chance to breathe it. The chicken is such fun to watch, trotting around the yard, paying calls to the bunnies and investigating the compost pile. There are new spices in the cupboard to tweak an old recipe. Who knows what interesting conversations might result from just relaxing with the husband? And there is that round, bright baby face right beside me, waiting to laugh at the first sight of fun, ready to be delighted when I turn to him, watching for attention and affection and all the neat things I can help him to experience. 

Hopefully in time, when I remember to check my email, pulling out the laptop from some forgotten corner and dusting it off, I will find that even before I am finished, the bugle call of real life has summoned me back into its wholeness.

Seasonal Sunday: Dreaming of Summer...

Mmm. I needed that.

   In reality, it is mid-February and -34 degrees when I woke up this morning. The insides of all our windows have ice formations piled up at the bottom from frozen condensation. We didn't go to Mass cause the car wouldn't start. The rabbits have frost-coated whiskers. 

   It's also Valentine's Day, however, so there's a little extra cheer to warm the deepest winter. Ben got up early with the baby (who seems to have decided that sleep is optional to existence) and I had left little corny Star Wars valentines stuck about the house for him. "Yoda one for me" on his i-watch, "You R2 cute" on the shaving cream, and "Ewok my world" stuck to the steering wheel. Thanks Pinterest :D

   His kind acts of service to me today have been to fix the home button on my phone and do all the piles of dishes in the kitchen. What a dear man.

   We're also going to have our first baby-free date for supper, as my mom is coming over to babysit for a couple of hours. Hooray! Hopefully our car will start by then. 

   On the animal front, we are daily taking small bunnies out to Wanda for feeding and bringing them back inside to stay warm. We hadn't intended to breed this winter, but we accidentally left one of the boys from the last batch in with his mother too long. Oops :/ I am calling them Oedipus Rex bunnies.

    Fox went out on a chilly night, prayed for the moon to give him light, and we sadly have only one chicken left as a result. Hence I have had to start buying store eggs again. Boo hoo. 

    Peregrine is growing by leaps and bounds, and I am also very excited for warm weather to return so that I can bring him outside more. His interest in his surroundings is continually expanding. 

    We just need to wait it out. This too shall pass, and spring will come again! It always does :)

Touch of Colour Tuesday: Froggie Went A Courtin'

Created for the wedding of Leslea, who loves frogs :)

Seasonal Sunday: Deep Winter Duvet

   Outside the fluffy white blanket is growing, and we are cozied up indoors. It's a very indoorsy time of year. Sipping lots of hot drinks, watching tv shows, cuddling with Mr. Droolface. Enjoying family time. Almost the only times I venture out into the cold are my twice-daily trips to take care of the chickens and bunnies, who are huddled under heatlamps in their own small houses.

  I do miss sunshine and long walks, but they will come again. So for now, it's time to embrace the season of hibernation - unless you are one of those admirable folks out cross-country skiing or such like. Then enjoy yourselves and I'll see you inside sometime!

   Ben's newest toy is an i-watch, which he found for a steal price. He's been itching to get one of those around his wrist since they were announced, so he's as happy as a clam trying out all it's features.

   And Perrin is growing quickly. All that boob milk is like a powerful elixir, even more potent than Treebeard's ent water. I had to put away all his cute little 0-3 month clothing a while back, reminding myself that it will probably be worn by another baby some time in the future, that way I don't get too sad about it.

 

Seasonal Sunday: Sleep, Snow, Star Wars

   My baby slept through the night last night. I couldn't believe it. From nights of feeding every 2-3 hours to a sudden 8 hour night. Stunning. Who knows if it will last, but at least I know that it's possible.

   That left us well refreshed for a lovely fourth Sunday of Advent. The ground is peppered white, with trails of chicken tracks all over the yard. Our Christmas tree is up and glowing. I hung an extra-low ball ornament from it for Perrin bat at as he lies underneath on his sheepskin.

   We had supper by the light of the advent wreath and read the readings for the birth of John the Baptist. I had forgotten that it was Gabriel, the messenger angel, who came to Zechariah.

  And we watched "The Force Awakens". Harrison Ford is just as much the charmer as ever :)

 

Too True Tuesday: Unexpected Consequences of Thrift in the Thirties

   My Dad alerted me to this hilarious story from the Great Depression. Found on: http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/30s-memories.html

This is a story my great grandmother Louise told me - and that her daughters affirmed as absolutely true and the funniest thing I have ever heard happen in my life.

During the depression my great-grandmother did these things to support herself and her 4 daughters; Marjorie, Joanne, Jackie & Jill. They made wedding trouseaus and dresses etc., for those who were still wealthy, knitted everything from lace to wool, kept a large garden, and raised geese and ducks for eggs and down which they would stuff into pillows for sale.

At the end of the garden harvest time they would turn the geese and ducks loose to clean up all the little leftovers and eat bugs.

Her neighbor, Harry, supported himself by making 'bathtub gin' in his basement- which involved using a great deal of corn, part of which Louise would provide from the garden. At the end of the booze making process there would be a lot of what they called 'squeezings' - basically alcohol soaked corn mash which Harry would dump into a pit and bury. Well one morning Louise and her daughters got up to find every one of the ducks and geese laying all over the yard and garden- dead. Not knowing what happened - and in a panic - Louise decided that the least they could do is strip the down feathers from the birds to stuff into pillows so as to prevent a total loss.

Putting all 4 girls to work- plus a few volunteer neighbor ladies- they had succeeded in stripping about 30 birds and tossing them into a pile behind the shed - when suddenly a goose walked - rather unsteadily and completely bare- out from behind the shed and proceeded to go up the path toward the house.

Then another - and another followed, all bare and weaving from side to side. The ladies jumped up and ran behind the shed where more of the birds were kicking around and trying to push themselves up onto their feet. Walking out a bit past the shed to round up the birds, Louise found a huge pile of corn mash, unburied and stinking to high heaven - with duck prints all through it. Here the birds were stinking drunk and completely comatose from eating old corn mash. A few had died, but most were alive. So now what to do? Ohio has bad winters and she had about 30 ducks and geese who were basically stripped bare and would never survive the cold. Well they did the only thing they could think of at the time- they went from stripping feathers to knitting wool sweaters for every one of those birds, using all the leftover wool yarn they had. Louise told me that years Christmas goose had the 'most interesting flavor' she had ever experienced. 

Seasonal Sunday: Chooks and Eggs

Gaudete Sunday - Rejoice, the Lord is near!

This is the warmest December I can recall. Each day is above freezing and I love not having to brace myself when I go outside to look after the animals.

Here are a couple of my beautiful chickens. Every morning I find three smooth brown eggs. Where the fourth chicken is laying remains a mystery. When I go outside, the funny chooks follow me around the yard and take exploratory pecks at my toes to see if they are food.

Baby bunnies!

Our doe, Wanda, "kindled" on Saturday, so we now have four wriggly kits. We brought her inside, out of the -30 degree weather, so it was fascinating to watch; a rabbit about to give birth pulls huge wads of extra fur from under her neck to make a nest for her babies. Perfect fur-coat insulation.